Limerick, You're No Lady

The Cork, sorry 'Irish', Examiner, proves itself to have got the hang of the news story of national importance with this beauty from its RSS feeds. The standfirst itself is a classic of its kind, and was not, I presume committed to copy with anything resembling a straight face: 'A Valentine's Day heartbreak warning went out in Limerick last night - but it had nothing to do with romance'.

It seems that some cad from Stab City is going around purloining valuables from dancing ladies; is nothing sacred? Can Shannonside slappers not dance around their handbags in peace without fear of losing their very soul? I thought the city had changed since Angela's Ashes...